I wish I could put into words just what this summer has done to me. It's irreparable. I'll never be the same again.
Praise the Lord.
On May 16, 2008, I realized my life was at that point completely run by fear. Fear of what could be, what would be, of becoming something, of not becoming something, of having or not having, of being alone, of being unhappy, of being like others, of being unlike others. Fear was reigning, ruling, governing. Thoughts, decisions, actions, responses. Fear.
I've been set free.
Who I was at the very core has been ripped out, transformed. And in two short weeks I return to a campus full of people, most of whom have no idea. I hope it will be obvious that I am not the same. But just to make things clear - I want to stand in the middle of the quad and yell it, I want to climb on the tables in the caf and shout it: "Attention everyone! Jesus changed my life this summer! He is real and He's moving and He wants to come in and completely rock your world!! Are you ready? He is!"
Maybe that's not such a crazy idea. I'm not sure. My definition of "crazy" has changed as of late.
I refuse to be suffocated by normalcy. I refuse to be frozen by fear. I refuse to be boxed in by the expectations of others.
I've been set free.
Romans 8:15 - "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.'"
Yeah.
Live it.
3 years ago
2 comments:
Funny, I think we've learned some of the same things this Summer. I told you at the beginning of the Summer about my convo with Alex where he pointed out that I lived in fear and struggled with confidence. I have learned so much this Summer about being myself and stepping up into leadership positions. I'm trying hard (well, more like I'm calling on God to help me b/c I can't do it on my own) to no longer live in fear. I don't need to be afraid of dissapointing people with who I am. I've learned that people may not always see things the way I do, including people close to me, but it's ok b/c if I'm following God's will for me then that's all that matters. Wow, sorry this comment is so long. haha We need to hold each other accountable on this. I love you Bets!!
P.S. Another good verse is 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."
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