a conversation.

i was speaking to him last night and he spoke back. what he said changed everything. i'm writing it so i won't forget (i don't think i could anyway, but...yeah).



you are asking me to do whatever it takes for her to be saved...are you willing to walk through that with her? what is painful to her will be painful to you also. what i take away from her will be gone from your life, too. are you willing?

yes. yes, i am. i desire this the way you do. i'll give up anything.

will you give your life?

my life? wait...do you mean metaphorically? or literally? do you mean i'm actually going to physically die for this? (heart pounding wildly)

will you give your life? are you willing?

wow....wow. yes. yes, i will. if my death could bring her to you, if you want to take my life, then it's already yours. it's all yours. you know that.




"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it."

i have no idea what this means. but i agreed to it. only time will tell. but for me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. so i have no fear.